I Don’t Know Why This Happens When I Go for a Walk

Maybe I Don’t Need to Know Why

I went for a walk this evening for the first time in a while and if I go again tomorrow morning, I bet I’m going to turn it into my entire personality for a bit (something I wouldn’t mind).

It’s good for me to walk because exercise is good for people but I like walking because it’s easier than aerobics, it’s good for the nerve pain I get sometimes and when I do it, my best thinking happens. I should qualify “best thinking” here. 

I’m not talking about poignant philosophical musings that, if spoken, would ring so true that the world would tremble at how eternally brilliant they are. I mostly think silly things.

For instance, today, as I was passing by the home of someone I used to sleep with, I kept trying to remember which house it was and how I must be one of the daftest people in the world for not remembering a house I literally bumped uglies in. Is that weird? Am I that awful at remembering details? Do other people forget the way I do? Is this just an age thing? Oh God, my mind…does the atrophy only get worse from here?

I call it the best thinking I do because it’s clearer than the thinking I do everywhere else.

Often, when I think in front of a computer or a phone, there are so many distractions that turn my train of thought into something like that ball in a pinball machine – knocking all around, not staying still enough to turn into something satisfyingly cogent.

Music with lyrics quickly has me singing along, taking my concentration away. Music without lyrics is prone to send me into daydreams and power fantasies. Silence…well, silence can be quite an awful sound to hear when there is a need to contemplate.

But the thoughts I have while I’m taking brisk walks are unburdened and free. I’m not sure why. I listen to music from Doom Eternal when I walk. (If you’re not familiar with doom music, just know it’s violently motivational and It makes everyone who listens to it feel taller).  I even slip into those power fantasies I mentioned. Ones where I’m a spy or demonic entity or the president of a music label. Some mornings, I listen to The Philip DeFranco show and tut at America. So it’s not like I’m removed from stimuli from tech. 

Yet that takes a back seat to just thinking. Thinking about what kind of week I want to have or people I should catch up with or how I need to make 15 million dollars (US) by yesterday. 

Maybe I think better because walking happens away from the baggage of my home and office (they’re both the same place). Maybe it’s because doing a task that is so straightforward makes it easier for my thoughts to let themselves expand beyond the fleeting. 

Maybe I don’t even need to know why. 

Maybe brisk walks that clear my head are just a thing I can enjoy without too much interrogation. Maybe I’ll think about all of this the next time I go for a walk.